Wednesday, October 7, 2015

Lucky.


For many years, I was one of those people who was always looking forward to something. In college it was: "after this final, I will be so happy". While wedding planning: "after the wedding, I will be so relaxed." After graduation: "after I land a job, it will be so much easier". And so on and so forth.

A few years ago.. it was: "Once I get pregnant.."

And then I got pregnant. (Cue all the "!!!", even though I didn't love being pregnant I was overjoyed that I was finally carrying our baby).

And then it was: "Once I hit 12 weeks, I'll be so relieved." "Once I'm 24 weeks along, I will be so much more relaxed". And then she was here - right at 40 weeks. And she's perfect - the baby I always wanted.

And that feeling of always looking forward to something was gone.

I'm not the most patient person and motherhood is hard.

But I have never been more content. Relaxed? No. Well rested? No. Well manicured and well dressed? No. But fully satisfied at the end of the day. Happy.

I feel like I've reached whatever point I was always looking forward to.

Because it took us so long to get pregnant (2 years and 4 months, so not crazy long, but long enough), I feel like I could never ask for anything more than this child. I had begun to face the reality that I may never have a biological child. And that would have been ok. We are all about adoption in the future. But the fact that we received this gift is so special.

This is just a really great chapter in my life and I want to remember that when I look back on this blog one day.





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